Monday, August 20, 2012

1 2 3.

SO, this post will be about 3 things. I am clearly stating them so I don't get off topic. haha I do that sometimes.

1. Wes Hunter.
2. Needing Advice.
3. Montana
1. Wes. Such an amazing man. His funeral was recently and it was incredible to see everyone who came for him and his family. He was such a loved man and there are hardly enough words to describe him in a way that he deserves. He was kind to all who knew him and those he hardly knew. He was a friend to all, a missionary, a loving father and husband, and an inspiration. When I was pretty lost after graduating high school he was one man, the only person really, who didn't belittle me or pressure or bug me about ANYthing, he just said "come to my class"...and I did. When I wasn't going to other wards, I went to his class 2nd hour. He was such a great teacher. It was all stuff I pretty much knew but to hear it from a different point of view was great. Finally, I am so thankful for the impact he made on my truly wonderful boyfriend. He taught Scott more than I think anyone will ever be able to teach him. He helped him, guided him, built him up, and was another Dad to him. I will always have a special place in my heart for Wes Hunter and the ways he helped us in our times of need.

2. Advice. I hardly as for advice but I'm always here to give it. Its just how I am but today, I'm asking. If anyone reads this, advice is much appreciated. I've known something about another person for quite some time. Its not some random person, its a person close to me and its not something that's small, its a big issue. I've recently learned that its gotten worse and it seems that whenever this person is around, they're addicted to like their phone that has access and whatnot. I don't know if that makes sense but I don't want to give it all away. Anyways, its something that can make a big difference if brought to the surface I think and not in a good way. SO, saying that, I do not know what to do. I do not know who to go to or even what to say when I get to someone. So...advice?

3. Montana! I always have to leave this on a good note. (: WELL! More exciting news, Scott and I are going to Montana! I'm so thrilled to meet all of his family (I hope they like me!), to see where he grew up, and see why he loves it there so much. We're going in October so its just a little bit away. We will be traveling to Utah first with Robert, drop him off, and then head on up the rest of the way! We will also have Scott's dog Jake...that will be an adventure. haha I'm giving up my place in the front seat already. We'll stay up there for a couple of weeks to meet everyone, go hunt (mainly Scott will go hunt. haha), and lots of other stuff. haha I've never been so excited for a road trip (besides for General Conference)! So that's all for that. (:

With all that going on and everything else in my life, I always find myself going back to this quote:

"Keep trying. Be believing.
Be happy!
Don't get discouraged.
Things will work out." - Gordon B. Hinckley."

Sounds good to me Gordon B. Hinckley...sounds good to me.
Until Then. ♥

Sunday, August 5, 2012

Summer.

So much has happened and I hardly have time to really get on here and blog anymore.

Well here is a list of whats gone on in the last, lets say, 2 months.
I got my wisdom teeth out.
Spent 4th of July in Idyllwild with family.
Celebrated 6 months with Scott (even though we were apart).
Went to Girls Camp as a MAC again!
Lost a good man in the ward.
Got a letter from Elder TaylorShumway!! (and one everyday at camp from Scott!)
Zack is now 12. :D
Gone to the beach only a couple of times.
Spent the last 2 months mainly with Tay.
Thought about a gym membership...I need it.
Got trained in Guest Services at Target so I now work over there and cashier.
Scott's papers are almost being submitted...
Taylee lost her little hamster, Calvin.
She got a new one that she named Hobbes...but I don't like him as much. haha
Had a lot of wars with ants. -___-
Went to a wedding of a good friend and looking foward to the next few.
Kissed Scott under fireworks. ♥
Had no car all summer...
Attempted to learn stick shift...sucked. haha
Scott moved into the Johnsons and its the best.
Spent a night with their WHOLE family, it was great.
So thats most of what I can remember doing off the top of my head. Its just been crazy lately with work and everything. I need to get grounded again and begin reading my scripture, once again, every night or morning. Life is too short. Its important to remember what is REALLY necessary. Love everyone, show you care, pray for others, be a shoulder to someone who needs someone to lean on, and so on. Life is beautiful, it really is, so let''s try our best to keep it that way.

Until Then.

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Graduation.

SO! My little brother Robert is a high school graduate. Its so weird because he is just my little bro, my bubba, and now here he is a man. I can't even begin to explain how proud I am of him but I am going to try. 


He has done so much to get good grades, be an exceptional student, an awesome friend, an annoying but loving brother and son. I couldn't be happier to be his sister. He tries so hard at everything he does that I believe he can accomplish everything.  I know that in his eyes I am not always a nice person to but I want him to know that I try so hard everyday. He isn't ‘just my little bro’, I try to make HIM proud, as proud as he has made me. I just want him to be happy with whatever he does. I’m proud of him, for who he is and who he will become. When he came out to just walk down the track to his seat I had tears in my eyes and such a proud smile on my face. Then when his name was called, I sure didn't hold back. He is such a great brother and I couldn't ask for more.


Well, Robert will be going on his mission now and that is so exciting. I can't wait to send him letters and packages. It will just be more time to grow closer to him and then soon enough I will get to share many of the same experiences that he will go through. Anywho, congrats Bubba! hahaha I love you and I always will!


To all the other graduating seniors, congratulations. Now go out there and make YOUR dreams come true. This is your guys' time to shine, to grow, to mess up, and to learn. Don't be afraid of what the future holds. Be excited to move on and experience life and all its glorious messiness. I have faith in each one of you as you should each have in yourselves. I can't wait to see the kind of men and women you all will become.

Until Then. 

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Great.

Today was SO good. So last night I made up my mind that I wanted a day to sleep in and so I gave Mom (with plenty of warning) her job back. Her job that she made mine for some time now. So, I put a sign on my door that said "Don't wake me up. Mom is taking you to school today. Thanks." hahaha It worked! I got to sleep in and then woke up around 9 feeling all sorts of refreshed. I called Scott shortly after to say good morning but Dylan answered. haha He was trying really hard to sound like Scott but I knew it was him. I'm gonna miss that kid! Anyways, so then I talked to Scott and my day instantly got a million times better all before noon.

So then we actually got to IM each other for a bit after he had finished breakfast. I uploaded pictures, started my letter to Ryan, went on Tumblr, finished my show, ran around the house, and had chocolate chip toaster waffles! Again, all before noon. (: haha It was a very productive morning.

I picked the kids up from school around 3. After that, I took Zack to get some new shoes, checked out the Best Buy that is closing, went to Target, had an ICEE (that we made a total mess of) with a pretzel, and had a great time. haha It really was fun! I always have a good time talking and hanging out with him. Even though half the time I have NO idea what we are talking about. haha

We got home around 5ish and got ready for institute. Taylee went with me tonight so that was cool. The ride to institute was a blast. I finally get to be that cool sister that drives. haha We get to sing as loud as we want and just have a great time. Institute was good as usual, just missing the best teacher in the world AND it was so weird not to be sitting next to Scott, who would be next to Dylan, who would be next to Yuko...that will take some getting used to. After that, we went to Nubi! SO delicious. Anyways. On the way there we were dancing to who knows what in the car and I look over to see a car full of my friends waving to me. hahahahaha OH boy, I'm just glad I don't get easily embarrassed anymore. It was just plain fun. (: We got home and put in Pocahontas but Tay fell asleep and I paused it to write this...and talk to Scott. haha

This was definitely a day that needed to be noted. It was just an all around fun day with my siblings. We had a lot of laughs, good fun, and a nice time.I love them so much. I also love Scott SO much and am pretty excited to see him again on Thursday...I don't know how we are going to do 2 whole years when we've only been apart for 5 days and it feels like foreverrrrrr. haha BUT! The Lord is on our side and I know we'll be just fine. (:

Until Then.

Saturday, April 28, 2012

Days.

So, I am just going to take this post day by day since its been a while.

Well. I got to go to Utah with my family and it was so worth taking off work without pay for a week. (: I couldn't imagine having to miss that. I've missed them so much! My Grandparents turned 80 and so that was a blessing to go to a party for them. I got to see just about everyone in my family, even those I hadn't seen in a while. It was nice. ALSO! Scott got to meet my family. He was up there with Dylan and Yuko. OH my goodness. To see my whole family accept him was so amazing. They absolutely love him. He just fits in so nicely. We also celebrated 2 months together up there.

Lets see, I got a $.07 raise. :D haha Its all about the little things. I still am dealing with car accident stuff. Its been a hassle and stressful but I guess I am meant to learn something from it. On a better note, I am going to be a MAC this year again!! I am so excited. Its going to be amazing to be up there again and shaping these girls into wonderful young women.

SO in even bigger news. Scott said he loved me on Monday, April 23rd. ♥ We seriously had both been kinda tip toeing around the words "I love you" for...a while. haha BUT finally, he said he need to read me something. So as we sat there laying together he read me this beautiful poem and the last line said "I'm in love with you". Ahhhh, all I could do was smile and yeah, just smile. I was so happy. So, I found a pen but it was dead so he got me a marker. I got the marker and wrote "♥ I love you too." on his chest. (: It was the cutest darn thing. Now I just want to tell him all the time why I love him and how much.He kissed me in the rain on the 25th and the next day we celebrated 3 months together. We saw "The Lucky One" and just had a really nice day together. I honestly can't imagine being happier. He has also started his mission papers and I already know this is going to be hard. Like, I thought saying bye to my best friends was hard...well, this is going to be a whole different kind of hard. However, I can't even begin to describe how PROUD I am of him and this decision. I'm in love with an incredible man. I am. (:

More news, my friend Brian is engaged. I seriously have like 6 weddings that I could be going to this year. Its insane! Something is in the air, I believe it. haha

Oh! Easter, was really good. Spent the day with family and Scott of course. I had the day off and it was such a blessing to have that day off and a Sunday off in general! We did baskets (even Scott, he had never had one before!), had a wonderful time at church, and so on. It was a great day.


Yep, so thats life right now. Its tough at times but when I see Scott or friends and family I just remember why I love life so much and see the bigger picture. Its a big world out there and I am a part of it now so I'm just living day by day.

Until then.


Friday, March 23, 2012

Temples.

Going to the temple is truly a blessing and definitely strengthens my testimony with each visit. Yesterday the most I got out of it was this. Be thankful for those who are by your side, who pick you up when you are down, and who would never let go of you even for a second.

I feel like I have been going through a good amount of hardships but I am so thankful to have people who care and love me by my side. I was thinking about people who can only see their side of situations. I had an incident this morning with that problem and it just frustrates me to no end. Especially with someone close who is supposed to be a support, who is supposed to listen to me, and I believe I'm done "supposing" those things because they obviously are not a priority to them. I just believe it should be in our best interest to learn to have more empathy, to feel more sympathetic, and to be more open. Being close minded never got anyone anywhere, really.

I was thinking about Joseph Smith and how much he was persecuted by close minded individuals, how the Saints had to leave their homes because of that, how to get some peace and be where they needed to be they would do anything for. I may not be going through what they had to but that doesn't make my trials nothings. They are still trials and they're mine. Mine to learn and grow from. I want to be like them through it all and going to the temple just reminds me of all that. It reminds me that I need to stay strong as they were. I mean, they walked miles and miles to not even get to a temple. They walked miles and miles so they could BUILD a temple. So that they could feel that joy, peace, and love. I want to make it a goal to just go to the temple more often. Even to just to sit there...I love feeling that peace that just radiates from that sacred building. Well, when I get back from Utah, that is one of my first plans. It really is.

Until Then.

p.s.! Just a picture from last night. ♥

Saturday, March 17, 2012

Beginning.

So much has happened and I am sad I have let my blog go a little bit. I feel like I've neglected my writing. haha Well, we're about to fix that.

A few things, big things, have happened since I last wrote. A lot of people and myself had to say goodbye to an incredible woman, Debbie. She was seriously an angel. Like, if I had to describe the most amazing woman it would've been her. She was so full of strength and love that even through her trials she was so full of light. I remember her in Young Women's and then before that in Achievement Days. Those were some of my best memories. So she is missed by many but we all know she isn't suffering anymore and is so happy. (:

ALSO! I got a letter from my best friend!! OH my goodness, it was seriously like one of the best days ever. FORreal. So Elder Ryan Johansen is doing great and he is more spiritual than ever. He is just enjoying his mission and all it comes with. It was so great to finally hear back from him so I am working on my letter right now as well. I also had a moment I guess. haha He said in his letter "stay beautiful" and it was like "awwwwwwww" my best friend said I'm beautiful. haha It was the greatest and I can't wait to get mine out and his in return.

Now, for the main even, Lia is home!!! Ah! I got to see her last night and it was like no time had past. We were back to laughing and talking like she had never left. Oh, its so good to finally say hello to someone again instead of goodbye like I have been. It is so great to have one of my best friends in the whole world back. I love it! (: She has made me so proud and I am so thankful for her example to me.

Well, Scott and I are doing just greattttt. He is a prefect gentleman still and I've fallen so hard for him. I even got up to bear my testimony because I promised him I would and I have a testimony but getting up to share it is quite scary. BUT! I knew he was right there and my fear went away allowing the spirit to enter and fill me with the right words and a clear mind. The Lord truly knows who we need in our lives and when. ♥

Lets see. Oh yes, this year I have been called to be a MAC again at Girl's Camp!! I'm so excited. It really is such a blessing to have that opportunity to help girls, grow spiritually, and love every minute of it. I can't even wait. (:

Now, a serious thing that I will only touch on is the car accident I got in back in December. She is saying its my fault and claiming a lot. So, we're working on it. I can only think about how strength is smiling through the struggles and, if you learned anything, thanking the Lord for them after. So through this I may feel as I have lost my voice or my opinion or I may be confused but I know the Lord has control of the situation and it will all work out. It will.

Work is also going just fine. I will be trained to be a team trainer soon for when we hire new people for summer and trained for guest services. That one should be interesting. haha Oh well, I say, bring it on! I'm just wanting to focus on the positive in life and the things I can control versus what the Lord is in control of. This year has already been a big one and it has just begun. (:

Until then.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Valentine's.

OH my goodness. Valentine's day was so fun. I spent most of the day just doing things around the house. Did all my laundry, cleaned the kitchen, snacked on Nutella, and got ready for the night because I had a date. (:

So the other night I had to sign (Yuko too) a "contract" for this Valentine's Day date. Well, it had me a little worried to be honest. haha But it was funniest and cutest thing. Scott picked me up close to 5 and we headed over to Dylan's to meet up with them. Once we were all there, we took off...Yuko and I were still clueless. WELL. We ended up at a Salvation Army in Perris (or Riverside...I didn't know where we were. haha) This is when they told us we'd be picking outfits for them and they would be doing the same for us...we would then continue to put each other's picks on and wear them for the night. Needless to say, Yuko and I were not thrilled...in any way. haha We didn't know what to choose because there wasn't a huge selection for guys and they were all boring. We just went with getting them vests (and soon regretted that we only got them those). Scott got me this disgusting green tank top turtle neck, with an old patterned jacket, a camo hat (so gross), and what appeared to be a shiny-pink-race-car-looking-jacket. That pink thing turned out to be like a Halloween costume that I had to put my legs through and put on. SO UGLY. hahaha It was awful! I won't lie, I was a little peeved. haha I mean it was a hilarious idea and way interesting...but I worked hard on picking the right outfit out for the night. haha Then Yuko had this little girl looking striped t-shirt, an old lady hat, and this floral jacket with HUGE sleeves. haha It was just not good.

We then proceeded to go to dinner...looking like we did. We went to this little hole in the wall restaurant for some 'italian' food. It was really good! I enjoyed it. (: After that we ended up at Fiesta Village for some lazer tag. (Mind you, we still look ridiculous and yes, we got a lot of weird looks.) Scott and I KILLED it. haha We so won that with a score of 4,025. :D It was pretty fun. Now one of the best parts happened after that...Dylan said we could change back for the next event. SO. Exciting. You may ask why we just refused to wear those outfits. Well you see, we were under that "contract". haha It was a pretty legit thing. Anyways. We changed in the car on the way to our next event.

The next event was seeing..."The Vow"! OH my, I was excited. (and rightfully so, the movie was AMAZING!!) We got there a little early so Scott and I went and took pictures in the photo booth there, that was funny. haha Scott was so confused as to where to look and whatnot, it was so cute. haha We then went to walk around, get our tickets, and go in the theater. We were still too early to go sit so me and Scott went and played a hunting game (where you shoot dinos...ahaha). THEN, Scott plays a claw game which I swear don't work, until now, because he won an i-pod shuffle. Yep. haha We went back to the line to talk and then finally it was time to go in. Scott got me some Hot Tamales, the sure way to my heart. haha We watched the movie which like I said before was amazing. I loved it. (: Then went back home. Said goodnight to Dylan and Yuko then went off to have some time together. It was such a great day/night. That's forsure.

It may have started out rocky with the whole outfit thing BUT it was an all around good time. I won't soon forget it, nor would I want to. I have the greatest boyfriend...I really do.

Until Then.

p.s. We have plans for today too! :D

Friday, February 10, 2012

Mission.

I feel like my last post was just way intense and I haven't really been able to gather my thoughts well enough for another one. Life is just a crazy mess sometimes!

When trials come, I find the best thing to do for me is write, pray, and read my scriptures. Trials come and go but our Savior is always with us, never leaving us to take them on our own. I'm so thankful to know that.

So, the point of this post is to say that I will most likely be going on a mission. The other day I realized that I could technically put my papers in around May/June. CRAZY. Also, Scott can put in his papers soon and he plans to AND Robert will also be doing his. Its all hitting so close that I could be out on a mission, my best friend, my boyfriend, and my brother all at the same time. How cool is that? Very. haha It just makes me think that maybe I am really meant to go on one because school plans have been crumbling since I graduated and maybe I am not meant to do school until after a mission. I have no idea. My PB blessing does say something like what I am meant to do (career wise) will be made known to me in that time. SO. As of now, I am seriously considering going after my childhood goal of going on a mission.

Life is full of decisions, paths, trials, good times, and bad times. Its up to us to make choices, find our way, cherish the good times, and learn from the bad ones. Its important to know that through Him all things are possible and life, no matter how crazy it may be, is great.

Until Then.

Monday, February 6, 2012

Pain.

I have work at 8:15 in the morning and I cannot sleep...even if I tried. My thoughts are so loud I feel like I should be screaming. My heart is so heavy I feel like I'm drowning. My tears are flowing so freely...I feel like this isn't real. 

Some things in life are just plain terrible. Ugly. Horrible  and plainly put...disgusting. I have no words left in me to describe how betrayed I feel from someone who is supposed to be one of the most important people in my life. I've lost all respect, I've lost the close connection we started re-building, I've given up on looking up to this person in any way, and I'm just angry and embarrassed. For the other person involved...I'm disgusted. I don't understand how this can be going on without a thought as to the other people in your lives would feel if this was to blow up. I want to tell you both to stay the hell away from eachother. If only I could.

I can't breathe because now I am not the only one to know about this. You both have subjected someone so dear to me...to your disgusting mess. I hate seeing her hurt, seeing her cry kills me, and seeing her trying to figure out how SHE could "fix" this...makes me sick. Its not her place to even know about this, let alone try to fix it. I've cried countless times over this and I fell apart when I saw that now it cause her to cry as I have.

I feel like I've said too much without even saying much at all. All I want to do is be on my knees praying until this gets worked out. Until this stops. Until these people learn. Until these people get talked to and reprimanded for what they're doing. I need an answer...I feel like I need to do something else besides just put up a front and act like I don't know whats going on.

Now, to Scott, you may never read this but I need to publicly say how thankful I am for YOU. I hate crying especially in front of people. But you came over and got me talking about everything. You got me smiling, you cared for me, and you let me just break down and cry on your shoulder. That means the world to me...I hope you really know that. I can't imagine my life without you by my side. I'm not afraid of what may come as long as you stand beside me. Thank you, with every part of my heart I say thank you. You're a blessing and I'm the luckiest girl in the world to have a boyfriend like you.

Until Then.

Monday, January 30, 2012

Boyfriend.

Man. That is going to take me a little bit to get used to saying. Aww, let me just say how happy I am. The Lord truly knows who He should put in each of our lives and I am thankful for that.

We had our first kiss on the 21st and at that moment I completely knew...he was the guy for me.

So on the 26th, I became happily taken away by the greatest guy in the world, Scott. He is truly the best. We were just cuddling and enjoying a night in when he said he had something to say and knew how to say it now. He said the sweetest things about trust, about us, about everything and I wasn't even scared when he was telling me it all. I just wanted him to keep going and get to the part where he asked me to be his girlfriend. haha It got to that part and now I'm happier than ever. Even now I am sitting here grinning like a fool. He just has me so extremely happy. He tells me how lucky he is but really, I am the lucky one. I love holding his hand whenever we're together, kissing him like its the last time I will, talking to him, goodnight messages, and everything else.

I was sick this morning and he brought me a smoothie after church.
He visited me at work just to check on me (and to buy dogfood haha).
AFTER I got off at 9:30 pm, he came over where we then watched "The Notebook" and had pancakes at midnight.

Tell me that isn't the perfect boyfriend...yep, you can't say it. haha Because it wouldn't be true, he is the best.

Life couldn't be better right now. I may not know what lies ahead of me but now I am not afraid of it. I'm not afraid to go for whatever I dream up because I have him by my side. I don't feel so alone through everything I am going through and whats better than that is I know he feels the same. Making him happy is the best thing I can do. His happiness makes me radiate joy and seriously its the greatest.

Until Then.

Our first picture taken together (not as a couple at that time but I love it), last year at the fair.

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Busy.

I can't believe I have been neglecting my blog! I was doing so well but now I have been busier than ever. Life has been absolutely crazy lately.

I've been juggling quiet a bit lately. So, I have been working pretty good hours lately. No more 8 hours per week. haha That was ridiculous. I've been kinda dating a friend, not completely serious yet but he makes me feel special. Its nice. (: Then church, hanging out with friends, FHE, and institute...no wonder my energy has been shot. Also. Brian is moving so yet another great friend of mine is going to be gone, as of today, and I still hate goodbyes.

Well, with that, I just feel really quiet lately. I feel like I can’t say enough, can’t say anything to help, or can’t say what I really want to say…so I’m not saying enough. That probably makes no sense but there really is no other way to explain it. I’m having to say goodbye and have said goodbye to some of my closest friends and it makes it hard when I need someone to talk to…to rant, to just let everything out. Times like these, I really miss my best friend. I miss the connections I have had with others. Well, now, I am at a loss for words. So. I will continue just being quiet for now.

Its been kinda hard not to withdrawal more than I have. I feel a little bit like I'm falling apart on the inside. Like, its just one thing after another and I need a break. A break from missing people, from going out...from reality. I kinda went "awol" last week and I'm thinking that's what I need to do again.

I just need to get back on the ground with both my feet planted firmly on it.

Until Then.

Saturday, January 7, 2012

Feeling.

I've been staring at this blank page for some time. I feel like writing but everything I feel like writing about is just so scrambled.

I probably should be sleeping because I am exhausted but I just have so many thoughts. Thinking of past memories, of friends, my family, school, and of him.

Why is it so hard to let someone go? Why does it have to hurt so much when I don't even know what this is? Its nothing. I just don't understand why I can't look away even when he isn't looking my direction. Which then makes me not understand the stolen glances between eachother. I just...I can't be her. Thats probably the only thing getting in the way. I'm me. Maybe I am just not good enough to feel that touch again, to be held, and to just be with him. I'm. Not. Her. So once again, I need to move forward. I need to move past this. But how can I let go of this once again when I have held on for so long? Even when I was angry, hurt, and over it...I've come back and that must mean something. Feelings don't resurface for nothing. Or do they?

Whatever happens, if we ever are together or never make it to that, there will always be a place in my heart for him. That little piece of me will stay the same. The "history" and memories are still there. However, time moves forward and so shall I. So come what may.

Until Then.

Sunday, January 1, 2012

2012.

“In three words I can sum up what I know about life: It goes on.” — Robert Frost.
It. Goes. On. How amazing. Those three simple words hold so much wisdom. Its great knowing that after this year of trials, of heartache, of people coming and going, of happiness and triumph, and everything else...that is goes on. It goes on to be a new year full of hope and potential.

I hardly have the talent of Robert Frost to just simply sum things up and besides, 2011 was too big to just sum up in a few words. In 2011, I was everywhere. Literally. I grew closer to my best friends, they were my solid ground when I grew weary through the challenges. My best friends went on Missions. One returned and although he should be out there, I'm sure thankful to have him here. I learned to trust even more in Heavenly Father because thats all I could do last year. I grew closer to my family for they are truly the most constant people in my life and I love them dearly. I got rejected from a school I thought was my next move, I got a JOB at Target, I met some great new people, I saw other lives change, I went on a roadtrip with friends, I went to conference, I visited Utah on my own just to see my family, I went to the US Surf Open, I went to the beach in general a lot more than years before, I experienced loss once again with 3 of my dearest pets, I felt feelings deeper for another but also had to get over them over and over again...I got my license, I got into a car accident, and I turned 20.

I learned to live in the moment. I learned to appreciate letters so much more. I learned to get out of my comfort zone. I learned to trust my heart more. I learned even more to speak my mind. I learned to speak up and be honest with things that are going on. I learned, and this is big, that sometimes it is okay to cry...just a little bit. haha I learned that things in life aren't always going to go as planned...because last year was just one beautiful unplanned mess. Seriously. There are definitely two things I learned: Life is messy and Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.

So with that. Here is to 2012. Here is to loving more deeply, speaking up, to not fighting feelings anymore, to just going with it, to taking chances, to having more faith, and to being who you truly are each and every day. Here is to accepting that life doesn't always go as planned but being thankful for another day to figure it out. My only New Year's Resolution, so far, is just this: To figure life out. Basically, to continue just finding myself and my place in this world. Maybe this year will bring me love, maybe it will bring more tears, more joy, or new people but I know this. I am not alone in this journey and I am not only enduring but ENJOYing the ride we all call life.

Until Then.