Saturday, January 7, 2012


I've been staring at this blank page for some time. I feel like writing but everything I feel like writing about is just so scrambled.

I probably should be sleeping because I am exhausted but I just have so many thoughts. Thinking of past memories, of friends, my family, school, and of him.

Why is it so hard to let someone go? Why does it have to hurt so much when I don't even know what this is? Its nothing. I just don't understand why I can't look away even when he isn't looking my direction. Which then makes me not understand the stolen glances between eachother. I just...I can't be her. Thats probably the only thing getting in the way. I'm me. Maybe I am just not good enough to feel that touch again, to be held, and to just be with him. I'm. Not. Her. So once again, I need to move forward. I need to move past this. But how can I let go of this once again when I have held on for so long? Even when I was angry, hurt, and over it...I've come back and that must mean something. Feelings don't resurface for nothing. Or do they?

Whatever happens, if we ever are together or never make it to that, there will always be a place in my heart for him. That little piece of me will stay the same. The "history" and memories are still there. However, time moves forward and so shall I. So come what may.

Until Then.

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