Him.

Do you think it is possible to meet "him" as in "the one", the one you are destined to be with and not even know it? Like this, you're just friends. Close and liking others but then if you look at it, the reason you are so close to eachother is because you probably would be PERFECT for one another. You're so compatible that its ridiculous. Do you think that could happen? Do you think, for one moment, that one day each one of you will see it. That one day, one could just wake up and see the other in a WHOLE new light. I do not know if this happens but how amazing would it be to just experience that. To be like, "we were the best of friends, then I woke up and realized, I was meant to spend my life with them." It could be completely amazing. haha Who knows.

Well. I have been getting NO sleep lately so I shall go to bed. I'm so exhausted, I feel defeated almost because I have been getting little sleep for WEEKS now. :P

Until Then.

Aware.

Free Love Day. Someone just had the idea and put a plan into action. April 25th, 2011: Everyone who wanted to participate put a heart on their wrist (I carried a sharpie with me to put hearts on others as well). Its just a little action to show that I am aware of depression and am a helping hand for those in need. I am aware of suicide. I have been through that tragedy once before with my Uncle. So something like this, makes my heart happy. Always be aware. Be a friend to all. Be there for anyone who needs a hand to hold, a shoulder to cry on, a listening ear. I hope to be that friend for everyone. <3



Until Then.

Independence.

Its funny how getting out on your own to be independent requires so much help. AND not only that but no one wants to help. That is where it gets frustrating. I feel like I haven't accomplished my goals since I got out of school. I hate feeling like I can't do anything. I can't drive, I don't have a phone, I didn't get into the school of my choice and leave RIGHT after HS like my plan. So I ask for help and I feel annoying asking to just drive because I still don't have my actual license, just a permit...man. So with that, I don't really ask for much. I feel annoying and like I am just in the way. However, they WANT me out on my own. I need your help. I need it. But looks like I won't get it. Here I go on my own. Trying, to become independent.

Until Then.

Easter.

Remember what this time is REALLY about. I won't lie, I do enjoy the traditions like coloring easter eggs and getting new dresses. However, we need to all make sure the reasons why we love this great day are related more to our Savior. He gave himself for us so that we may return to him.

I wanted to include an article from the ensign but my internet is running quite slow. :P SO. May I urge you to go to LDS.org and watch "His Sacred Name: An Easter Declaration", its not very long and it is truly AMAZING.


My family and I get to have to missionaries over for dinner on Easter (tomorrow). I am so excited! haha
1. We haven't had missionaries over in a while.
2. The spirit they bring into a home is amazing.
3. I get to make dinner. (:
Well, I wish you all a wonderful Easter day. May the Savior remain in your thoughts the whole day through.





Until then.

Music.

Its funny when you find a song that seems to just speak to your SOUL. Hilary Weeks sing a song called "Just Let Me Cry." I am telling you, it is amazing. I hear it and it explains exactly what I am feeling. I cannot always get the right words out and that is why I firmly believe lyrics are the words we are all not able to say out loud to one another.

They say timing is everything. Things take time to heal. Forgiveness comes in time. Time. Time. Time. But the most important thing about time is it is always about the LORD's timing. He ultimately knows why things happen at the times they do. In time, things will be better.

I believe everything happens for a reason. The Lord puts things in our path to test our strength, our faith in Him, our hope, love, and every other aspect of us. My tears are not a surrendor. So with that said...for now, "Just let me cry."

Until Then.

ONE more post.

Besides my post about drama. :P Which can just stop anytime...
And besides my Utah post. (:

Alright. I got an e-mail from Macys to scedule an interview! OH boy, am I excited. I reallllllly want it to work out! I've tried so HARD to find a job so I really want this. I sceduled it for May 3rd! OH my goodness, I could cry right now I am so happy. I mean its not positive that I will get it but I have faith and the will to try my hardest. I finally can start saving up for school! Once I get a job, I am going to make it a goal NOT to complain about any of it. FORreal. I always find that hard to handle, when people that have jobs complain about them or anything like that, when there are people like me trying to find work. Its tough out there. I hope with all i've got, that this works! OR that a friend helping me get a job at Toys R Us could work! (: I also know many others looking for jobs, I pray you all find something soon. <3

Until Then.

Pit Stop: Cove Fort.

A couple of pictures from the drive up to Utah, back in March/April. (:

I don't like...

drama. END of story. I'm serious! Its just really lame to have drama among "adults". It makes me feel like I am back in High School and is a big reason I wanted out of here. I never had drama in HS. never. ever. I did not tolerate being apart of it and I still cannot. Its funny, the people who say "I hate drama! blah blah blah", they are usually the cause of it. Stop saying it for everyone to hear and say it to yourself, quietly and ponder it. SO. That you can realize that you need to believe it for yourself. No one like being apart of all the crap and bad attitudes in the world, that is why we come to eachother...to feel SAFE. Think about that, next time you get angry at something, judged something, saw something completely WRONG, and make up crap. I just cannot do this anymore. I am sweet and nice all the time. I will even ignore if you say things behind my back, unless you are spreading rumors. BUT once you hurt my BEST friends and take them into your dramatic life and stuff...oooh, you better pray I do not go off on you or do something.

Well thats the end of that. I do not like having posts like this. I enjoy being upbeat and myself but sometimes I cannot get this stuff out unless I write it or something. SO. There it is. haha

I will end saying, a lot of drama starts from misunderstanding and lack of communication, in judgement and fear, and maybe from being immature. BUT with anything, prayer can help heal hurt and pains of drama. "I have learned that the Savior can heal wounded hearts, misunderstanding, and hatred if we look to His word and His atonement." -Yoshihiko Kikuchi, "The Healer's Art". Through Him, all things are possible.

Until Then.

The Beach (:

I went to Oceanside again today and the weather was BEYOND perfect this time! The water, as usual, was chilly. haha BUT it was such a good day to be there. I went with Megan, Ryan, Megan's bro and his wife. It was a fun group! (: I got a bit sunburnt but its all good. :P haha It'll be a tan soon. (; WELL. I'm exhausted and burning up. Time for aloe and sleep! (:

Until Then.

frustration.

I can't even BEGIN to list my frustrations at the moment. There are so many things going right in my life just not in the ways that will help me move on with my life. Seriously, I thought I was so close to getting this job but no, they can't even CONSIDER my application. Whats that supposed to mean?! I am so mad that to GET me my first job I need former job. Oh man. Well guess what, I don't. It doesn't mean I'm stupid, or can't work, or I am incapable of holding a job. I've always been stuck in this situation. I'm tired of it. I'm just tired of it. I'm tired of being let down when I am trying SO hard to get out and be on my own in this messed up world. /:

Then on top of that, I see the friends around me STRUGGLING in more ways than one. With relationships, the same job issues I am having, with their families, and more. Of course I am always there for them. No matter my dumb situation and hardships I make sure to take care of them by always being a shoulder to cry on, a listening ear, a friend until the end. I'm there through thick and then. It may sound cheesy but its true. If I could help another's heart from breaking even more, I have done my duty. I just can't stand seeing them hurt.

I looked at my e-mails right now and right below the job's e-mail was this:

"Faith in the Lord is trust in the Lord. We cannot have true faith in theLord without also having complete trust in the Lord’s will and in the Lord’s timing. As a result, no matter how strong our faith is, it cannot produce a result contrary to the will of Him in whom we have faith. Remember that when your prayers do not seem to be answered in the way or at the time you desire. The exercise of faith in the Lord Jesus Christ is always subject to the order of heaven, to the goodness and will and wisdom and timing of the Lord. When we have that kind of faith and trust in the Lord, we have true security and serenity in our lives." -- Dallin H. Oaks

Talk about divine intervention. Instead of crying more, I can stop and just be filled with hope again. Life moves on. When you get DOWN in the dumps at least the only way to go is UP. I know that at times its hard, even for me, to see the light at the end of the tunnel. That light may dim for a bit but it will never go out because there is always room for HOPE. Hope and Faith. I see that light, its dim tonight, but through the Lord it grows brighter and brighter because He is there. He is walking with me through this hard time, He is walking with EACH of us through the hard times in this life. We are never alone when we have Him in our lives. Never. That is what I am holding onto tonight. Thats what I hope my dearest friends are holding onto as well.

Until Then.

interesting.

Its funny how you feel like someone is coming in and pushing YOU out. then come to find out they feel like maybe you are doing the same to THEM or they don't feel as if they fit in. huh? Yeah, its just interesting.

ah.mazing. Yep!

I still wish I was in Utah, RIGHT now. If it wasn't for Tori's wedding on saturday...I would have stayed with my family up there. It was SO great to see them! OH!...how I missed them so. I can't even begin to explain everything that we did! SO. A way that I'll explain the trip is every day, for a little while, i'll post a picture and an explanation. It is going to be grand. (: haha i LOVE my family and am so blessed by them. They are truly AHmazing and I miss them tons already.

<3