Sunday, December 4, 2011

Nowhere.

So, Saturday was rough. I never thought work would be the best part of my day. Well you know when they say that if you bottle everything in eventually you'll hit the wall where you've had enough? I have kinda hit that wall lately.

Without getting into any details, the fights with a certain individual were escalated and I ended up grabbing my purse with work clothes and walked out. Walking has always been something I turn to, to calm down. It was so hard to be in that situation though because I honestly felt like I had nowhere to go, nowhere to run, nowhere to calm down...I was alone and had not a clue what to do.

Besides the fight, that's what hit me the most, I had nowhere to go and I didn't want to go back to where I had been. I so desperately want out. I wish more than anything that I was out on my own. Well, through all of this, I have seen the Lord's hand in my life. He has blessed me through some pretty hard times. At that moment when I was walking and confused with nowhere to go, I just prayed and prayed for comfort, a sound mind, and a forgiving heart. He helps me at the most trying times. He helps me to not feel completely alone or afraid, when I feel like I don't have anyone to turn to here.

Well until I am out of here, I am just going to figure out where I can turn to and where I can go when I need time to get away.

Until Then.

2 comments:

  1. Jes, I don't know what happened or who you had a falling out with but I hope that you are ok. It's really hard when you loose someone especially when it's a best friend. I have had one or two of those. I know we don't much but know that I am here whenever you need someone to vent to or just chat with about life and having one of your best friends out on a mission...i hate to say it but i think i am pretty pro at the whole "missionary out" thing. dont ever forget that i am here. love you girl, hang in there and continue to ask the Lord, "What can I take and learn from this."

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  2. Jesi, thank you so much for being there. Even if I don't want to talk about it to anyone, its a blessing knowing if I did, I could go to you. So thank you for that. <3

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