Friday, September 23, 2011


This week has been so long and draining. Seriously.

Well, on the 22nd, I got to go to the temple with some great friends. It was exactly what I needed. Then I went to see Lion King in 3D with an awesome guy and Transformers with another awesome guy on the 23rd. haha Then the 24th I spent the day reading and then hung out with some of my closest friends, which brought me a lot of joy and much needed laughter.

Now, I'm just sitting here all teary eyed. (which I don't like) Trying to wrap my brain around the fact that Callie is really gone and its been 1 week. Just one week. One long week. Between those fun times that I made myself go to, it was just so hard. I can't begin to describe how hurt I still feel over losing her. I don't know why exactly, but I can tell that today is going to be difficult.

So I had one of THE worst dreams last night, I guess you can call it a nightmare. In part of it Callie was there. The sad part was she kept dissapearing and I could never get too close to her, to hold her or anything! It was just really hard. The other part of it was one of my best friends saved some guy from being hit by a train but in return was hit himself and then just died! It was truly a nightmare. Like one of those where in the dream you are crying SO hard that you wake up if you should've woken up crying or had been crying all night. It was just insane. So anyways.

I am really trying to come to terms with this. (and trying to have better dreams...they have been SO wack lately.) I am still reading my sciptures and praying. I am still doing all the things I should. I haven't fallen from the gospel because of this, tradegies like this always bring me even closer. Like, if I stay closer to Him I can feel his love more and be comforted. Because honestly, that is all I want right now....

Just some comfort.

Until Then.

p.s. I miss you baby girl.

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